


lay all your love on me

by amsves



Category: Log Horizon
Genre: Characters Writing Fanfiction, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, International Fanworks Day 2019, Multi, Mutual Pining, and the other 5 percent on what i read on the wiki, based 95 percent on anime canon, pity shiroe 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 06:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17802962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amsves/pseuds/amsves
Summary: Shiroe has some very good friends who are always willing to teach him things when the need arises. Sometimes, Shiroe wishes he'd never asked. This is one of those times.





	lay all your love on me

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write Log Horizon fanfiction for quite a while, and I figured this was a good time to try my hand at it! I had to show everyone's favorite bespectacled villain some love <3 though he might wish i hadn't lol

“Here’s those reports you asked for, Shiroe!” Marielle dumped a dishearteningly large stack of loose papers onto Shiroe’s already overflowing desk with a smile. “I did my best to organize them, but you know me. Anyways, try not to work too hard!”

Shiroe gave the other guild leader a tired smile. “I’ll do my best, but, well,” he sighed, “ _You_ know _me_.”

“That I do, Mr. Workaholic.” With a wink and a nod, Marielle bounced out of the room, leaving Shiroe alone once again in his office.

The workaholic in question sighed again as he started sifting through the papers and sorting each into their proper place. _Bill, legal statement, recipe, festival plans, bill, recipe, bank statement …_

Shiroe frowned when he came to a paper in the middle of the stack that didn’t seem like it had any business being mixed in with the Crescent Moon’s paperwork. It didn’t seem to follow any template, and about half the words on it were crossed out, either because they had been misspelled or because the author wanted to replace them with a synonym. He scanned the paper curiously, brow furrowing as he read on. The top of the page picked up in the middle of a sentence:

_took a deep breath and grabbed the Enchanter’s hand. “My Lord--no,” she cut herself off, shaking her head, “Shiroe, I … I think …”_

_“It’s okay, Akatsuki,” the Villain in Glasses responded with a smile. “I know. And I feel the same.”_

_“You do?” Akatsuki’s eyes were shiny with happy tears. “Then, do you mind if …?”_

_Shiroe didn’t answer verbally; he simply leaned down and captured the assassin’s mouth in a ki--_

The real Shiroe slammed the offending paper back down on the desk. He felt his face with his hands--hot. He was probably blushing like a fool.

He poured himself a glass of water and downed it too quickly, choking a bit. That was how Akatsuki found him--sputtering. “My Lord?” she asked with alarm, appearing in the window. “Are you alright?”

“F-fine!” he squeaked. “I’m just fine. Thank you. You can leave now.”

Akatsuki didn’t look like she believed him one bit. She climbed into the office with a concerned expression on her face. “You look red, my Lord. Are you feeling unwell?”

“No, trust me,” Shiroe said, waving a hand. “I’m fine. Really. I just, uh, drank this too fast.”

“Would you allow me to feel your forehead to check for a fever?”

“NO.” Akatsuki flinched backwards at his harsh tone, and Shiroe mentally cursed. “Sorry! Sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. But I’m really okay.” Akatsuki still looked unconvinced. “If you don’t believe me, you could accompany me to the Crescent Moon guild hall?”

“Didn’t Marielle just come deliver the things you requested?”

“Yeah, but she accidentally brought something I don’t need, and I figured I should return it as soon as possible, just in case.” Shiroe grabbed the stupid paper that started the whole thing and shoved it in his magic bag.

“In that case,” Akatsuki concluded, looking much more satisfied, “Then I would be honored to accompany you, my Lord. Or, if you like, I could just go deliver it for you. What are we returning?”

_Uh_ … “Just a note. I think it was for Henrietta? But really, I’d like to ask about it in person.” Shiroe tugged his cloak around him and looked over his shoulder at Akatsuki. “Ready to go?”

Akatsuki nodded, and they began the short walk to the headquarters of the Crescent Moon.

The walk was silent, so it was a good thing it wasn’t more than five minutes or so. Shiroe was aware of just how awkward it was, but he couldn’t bring himself to make conversation, not with that ...thing still fresh in his mind. So fresh, in fact, that Akatsuki had to stop him from walking right by the guild hall. The concerned look returned to her face, and Shiroe mentally scolded himself. _Stop giving her cause for concern! She’ll find out the truth!_

Shiroe and Akatsuki both had permission to be in the zone, so the door swung open and inside they went. Shiroe didn’t really know where to find Marielle, but he followed the sounds of a large amount of chatter and laughter to the main room. Marielle was there, but so were maybe a dozen or so other adventurers, among them--

“Naogutsu?”

The guardian whipped around to face his friends. “Shiroe, Akatsuki! What are you guys doing here?”

“I came to see Marielle,” he replied warily. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“Oh, uh, the same, really.” Naogutsu still wore his signature smile, but there was a strained quality to it. “I don’t think now is a good time for you guys, though, since there’s kind of this gathering going on--”

“And what exactly is this gathering _for_?” Akatsuki interrupted.

“Uh …”

“Shiroe!” Marielle shouted from across the room. In a blink she was there beside the trio. “What are you--I mean, I dropped off what you needed, right?”

“Yeah, but you left something behind that I thought you might … want.” Shiroe pulled the paper from his bag and handed it to her. “If it’s not too much trouble, would you mind explaining what exactly ... _this_ is?”

Marielle hugged the paper to her chest. “I’ve been looking for this for days! You’re really a lifesaver, Shiroe. I was just about to give up and rewrite the ending, but I figured that would change the flow of the story if I just redid part of it, so I was searching everywhere for this. Again, thank you.”

“You didn’t answer my Lord’s question,” Akatsuki pointed out, and Marielle jumped.

“Oh? I guess I didn’t, huh.” When it became apparent that Shiroe and Akatsuki weren’t going to left her off the hook so easily, Marielle drooped. “...it’s a fanfiction about you two,” she mumbled under her breath. “Please don’t be mad! You guys are just really cute together and--”

“A fanfiction? About me and my Lord?” Akatsuki was as pink as Tetora’s hair. “Excuse me, my Lord, but I’m going to see if Nyanta needs any help in the kitchen!” With a whoosh, she was gone.

“I’m afraid I’m … not familiar with the term,” Shiroe admitted, and Marielle put her hand on his shoulder.

“Listen, then,” she said, voice the most serious Shiroe had ever heard it, “Fanfiction is a sacred art. It is created by fans, for fans, in cases where the canon material is simply inadequate. Fanfiction authors undertake the sacred duty of filling in the gaps and fleshing out worlds, creating alternate timelines and universes and, most importantly of all, _making their ships come true_. Like this one, about you and Akatsuki.”

“She’s just a friend!” Shiroe said shrilly, and Marielle gave him a knowing look.

“Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t. That isn’t the point. The point is that I wanted you guys to have a romantic moonlit evening, so I made it happen. Done.”

“On paper,” Shiroe pointed out, and Marielle waved a hand.

“Well, yeah. Obviously I can’t _force_ you guys to act out my romantic fantasies. But don’t worry--if the fact that you’re shipped with Akatsuki makes you uncomfortable, just know that there’s plenty of other stories where the object of your affections _isn’t_ Akatsuki. You’ve got great romantic chemistry with tons of people, after all.”

_Don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask--_ “Like who?” _You dumbass! Now you’ll never be able to look at any of these people normally ever again!_

Marielle rubbed her hands together. “Naogutsu? Will you help me for a second?”

“What does Naogutsu have to do with any of this?”

“Oh? Marielle hasn’t told you yet?” Naogutsu clapped Shiroe on the back. “You’re at the biweekly meeting of the Shiroe Shipping Club!”

“I thought we were the Villain in Glasses Fandom?” Marielle pouted.

“We’re workshopping the name. Anyways, to answer your question, everyone here, and tons more who aren’t, are interested in discussing exactly who gets to jump your bones and when. So to start--”

“Wait a second--” Shiroe interjected, but he was thoroughly ignored.

“--obviously you’ve heard about Akatsuki. But you and Henrietta would also work really well together. You’ve both got that cool-as-a-cucumber, glasses aesthetic thing going on.” Naogutsu pushed up his imaginary glasses, and Shiroe rolled his eyes.

“You really ship people just because they both have bad eyesight? _Really_?”

“Well, that’s not the _only_ reason, but in the interest of time, I’ll move on. In terms of women, the only other one I can think of is Minori.”

“That’s--no. Just no.”

“Oh? Not a fan?”

“She’s like half my age!”

“For some people, that’s the whole appeal. But I’m with you on this one, buddy. I’m rooting for Akatsuki anyways.”

Shiroe could feel a headache coming on. _Maybe I’ll just hole up in my office and die._ “You mentioned you were speaking ‘in terms of women’ …?”

“Yeah, this is more my speed,” Marielle laughed. “Thank you, Naogutsu. I can take it from here.”

Naogutsu ruffled Shiroe’s hair with his hand as he turned to head back to the gathering. “Brace yourself, man. Marielle’s crazy for this kind of thing--in a good way!” he added, seeing the guild master’s expression. “Anyways, bye!”

“Shiroe, you’re an extremely intelligent man. You have to know that when we say ‘in terms of women’...”

“You guys like to pair me up with other guys in your stories,” Shiroe finished resignedly.

Marielle beamed. “Bingo! For starters, you and Naogutsu is a pretty popular pairing, though of course that could never work because he has _me_!”

“So why would _anyone_ see romantic potential between us, when he’s already romantically involved with someone else?”

“People date and break up all the time, silly. It’s easy to envision a future when our relationship has already run its course. I’m not a fan, naturally, but it’s not difficult.”

“I think I need to sit down,” Shiroe said weakly, and Marielle led him to a chair in the corner before continuing her thesis.

“If being shipped with Naogutsu makes you feel weak, you’ll be positively queasy by the time we’re finished,” she lamented. “But! You asked to be enlightened, and I take this task very seriously. It’s not every day I get to teach the smartest man in Akiba!”

“I don’t know about that--”

“Anyways!” Marielle clapped her hands together in earnest. “How do you feel about William Massachusetts?”

Shiroe blinked tiredly at her. “You can’t be serious.” Marielle said nothing. “We’ve literally interacted twice?”

“One of those interactions was an entire month long,” she countered. “Plus, it was over Christmas and New Year’s. You spent the winter holidays together--that’s pretty romantic!”

“Yeah, in the context of a _raid party_. By that logic, I spent the holidays with Demiqas, too--you don’t see people fantasizing about that!”

“Well …”

“Seriously? He’s _married_ ! He has a _wife_!” Shiroe stood up from the chair. “I’m done. I’m calling ReGan to see if he has a good memory wipe spell.”

“That’s another good one!”

Shiroe tripped. “Oh my god, you can’t be serious.”

“I would never lie to you,” Marielle said solemnly. “Especially not about a subject as grave as this.”

“I’m going to need an entire room full of Nyanta’s curry to get over this terrible day,” Shiroe groaned.

“Why don’t you help him make it? I’m working on a story about you guys now--”

“Is there _anyone_ in my guild who’s safe from this madness?”

Marielle brought a finger to her chin. “Hmm. Why don’t you name off the members, and I can tell you whether or not I’ve heard anything about you two? Of course, I’m not infallible, but I like to think I’m pretty much in the know.”

“Okay, fine. Tohya.”

“Yes.”

“Yes, he’s safe? Or yes, he’s included in this hell?”

“Yes he’s included.”

“I guess it figures that he wouldn’t be safe, given that Minori was one of the first you guys mentioned,” he muttered darkly. “Weirdos. How about Rundelhaus?”

“Yes.”

“Isuzu?”

Marielle’s expression was thoughtful. “I can’t say I’ve heard anything about that ship, though of course I’m not omniscient. What would the ship name be, anyways? Shisuzu?”

“I really don’t care. Tetora?”

“Again, not that I’ve heard. But now that I think about it, you dating Tetora would be a great way to get her to lay off Naogutsu! All aboard the Shitora ship!”

“I’m going to have to stop you right there.” Shiroe took a steadying breath. “I appreciate you teaching me all of this, but please never mention it around me ever again. Goodbye, Marielle.”

“Safe travels, Shiroe! And sweet dreams!”

Shiroe practically ran back to his own guild hall and locked himself in his office as fast as he could. He couldn’t be around any of his friends or guildmates, not now. Not when he still had all these thoughts swirling around in his head.

He slumped into his desk chair and put his head on the desk. “This day has been a nightmare.” _Now all I’m going to be able to think about is me in romantic situations. Or, gods forbid, more compromising situations. I should never have given Marielle that stupid piece of paper back. I should have just ripped it up and thrown it in the fire here and never had to think about stupid fanfiction ever again._

He groaned. _Ugh. I don’t know how I’ll look any of them in the eye ever again._ Especially _Akatsuki. I work with her every day! How am I supposed to avoid thinking about all this stuff around her?_

He lifted his head off the desk. _Maybe I should just write down all this stuff in my head, and I can throw_ that _in the fire._

He sat up. Armed with a new purpose, Shiroe set about writing down every romantic scene he could think of. It was only when he was done, hand cramping and the sun long set, that he realized that he had essentially just become one of them™. He had just written his very first fanfiction.

Watching the paper blacken and crumble in the fire was very satisfying.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe i couldn't find a way to get my boy soujirou in here :( he is included in my heart  
> Find me on [Tumblr](http://www.skeletoncloset.tumblr.com)


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